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The Quiet Voice That Whispers Into Your Soul…Follow That

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God puts into our hearts the intuition to know what we need. It whispers quietly and gently, and if we are still, we can hear it guiding the way. Follow that. – Topaz

If I have learned anything from my mistakes, it’s this. Learn to trust yourself. Learn to trust that God is guiding you. Follow that.

Follow your intuition. Trust yourself. This is one trait that I have seen in every leading lady that I have noticed. She takes responsibility for her own life and her own choices. It is an inner confidence knowing that she recognizes the still, small voice as it softly whispers in her spirit to guide her. This is the intuition that God has placed inside of us.

A leading lady realizes that she, and she alone, is in charge of her own life. For better or worse, she is ultimately responsible for her life choices. And if you are the one living with the consequences, you are the one with the most at risk.

You might be asking right now, “What if I don’t know what to do?” We don’t always know what to do at that very moment. But many decisions do not need to be made the very moment we see the problem. If we wait, many times it comes to us. Other times, it is already trying to tell us, but we either do not recognize the voice or have not learned to trust it.

This is a lesson that I have learned the hard way. And the price I have paid has been high. I have come a long way since then. I would like to think that if I were about to be married and got all the way to the altar and had some sort of out of body experience and was not in the moment because it didn’t feel right, I would turn and walk away. Now, I would sure hope that I had a clue before then. And this is an extreme example, but you get my point. Even if you risk unintentionally hurting someone else or looking like a fruit loop, it is better than an amazing amount of regret for years to come.

How to Following Your Intuition – Steps to Living More Consciously and Intuitively

  • Commit to being more aware. Listen more closely. Learn to separate this voice from your own thoughts.
  • Practice trusting it a little more.
  • Practice going inward and not sharing everything with everyone or listening to those people who give advice so freely as if it is their own life. What makes them the expert in your life and what is right for you? Absolutely nothing.

As you begin to take these steps to trusting the intuition that God gave you, you will begin to see an inner confidence in yourself as you step more and more into your role as the leading lady of your own life.

There Is Magic in Kindness

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I’ve written about making a memory with the focus on our loved ones, but sometimes, briefly, our lives will cross paths with someone whom you will never forget. Your life is never quite the same, because for that brief connection, something happened. Time stood still and nothing else existed. It’s a remarkable experience. Two completely separate lives that intersect.

Always be aware and take those few extra moments for these encounters. They tend to happen when you least expect them.

While checking out at the grocery store, I noticed the woman behind the register. She was older, much older than I expected at the time of evening that I was shopping, especially since her makeup looked fresh and like she had just arrived. I just really felt like saying something nice to her, so I commented on how lovely she looked today. Through our conversation, I realized she had been there for quite a few hours and had been up early that morning. Well, at that point, I commented on her makeup looking so fresh like she had just arrived. She told me that she had put it on around 9 o’clock that morning. At this point, I HAD to know what she used. She told me and also mentioned her son in the conversation while she told me a little about her day. Mind you, we are having this whole conversation while I am checking out with a line forming behind us. As she began to open up a little more, she mentioned her son again. He obviously loves her very much. I commented on their wonderful relationship. It was here the story began to take an unexpected turn. She told me that she lost a daughter, and she felt like they were extra close after that had happened. I told her how sorry I was. She began to open up a little more and shared how her daughter died. She was young, only 28 years old, and had just moved into an apartment. She had talked to her daughter that night and told her that she loved her and would talk to her tomorrow. That was the last time she ever talked to her daughter. She died that night of carbon monoxide poisoning due to an issue with the heater in her apartment. She talked of the importance of telling your children that you love them. This offered her a small amount of comfort in knowing these were their last words. She talked of the importance of this as she finished checking out my groceries. I have always done this myself. I don’t know why, but I always have done this with those I cherish. The last words I ever said to my brother, just hours before he was rushed to the hospital and died later the next day, were the exact same as the ones she said to her daughter. As I was preparing to leave, I looked at her and said how glad I was to have met her and how much I had enjoyed talking with her. She said to look for her next time. I smiled and said I would. At this point, I looked at the line behind me and noticed the kindness in the eyes of the people waiting in line who were also obviously touched by this beautiful woman’s story.

There are several morals to this story.

  • Take time to be kind. You never know how much you might be the one who is blessed from it. Everyone has a story, a beautiful treasure hidden inside. Take time to find it.
  • Always be patient while waiting in line, you never know when you just might be a witness to one of these moments. You could be the one who needed to hear the message.
  • Along with your smoke detector, always have a working carbon monoxide detector in your home. Tell everyone you know. It’s so important and could save a life.
  • Always tell those you cherish how much you love them.
Grocery shopping is probably one of my least favorite things to do, but I sure would not trade that particular trip. I will forever be touched by this woman. There was magic in that moment. I’m not sure who needed it or for whom it was meant, but there was magic in it. Take time to be kind to someone and have a blessed day!

What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

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Since I created the Be a Leading Lady website and facebook page, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many wonderful, leading ladies. I’ve noticed some going through tough times. And I just want to say to you that this does not in any way, shape, or form diminish who you are as a leading lady. We all go through these times. I’ve been through them and am currently in a very difficult situation. We all go through these times.

What matters most is how we choose to go through it.

Sometimes we are overwhelmed with the problems in our lives. It may not feel like it will ever be different. It may be more than we even know how to handle at this present moment, but we will. We will figure it out.

Start where you are. If you need to write a sticky note and keep it in front of you, just reminding you to breathe, do it. I’ve done that. It helped. We can quickly begin to spiral when we focus on our problems or a difficult situation.

Another good reminder to write for yourself is to take one day at a time. We can easily start to feel overwhelmed by a future that feels over or out of control. This one moment is all you have to deal with this very second.

Remember, sometimes we just have to start where we are. The fog will begin to clear, and you will see the next step.

This is just one chapter in our life story. This is just simply where we start writing a new chapter. – Topaz

Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. -Nido Qubein

And the most important thing to remember…

God’s got this.

Don’t worry. It’s going to be okay. The same God who parted the red sea, turned water into wine, and who walked on the water…He’s got this.

What would you tell your younger self?

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I read  What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self by Ellyn Spragins and found myself reflecting on the question: What would I tell my younger self? It is definitely an interesting read, and oh, if we could only go back and give our  younger selves advice.  Many of us have learned a lot of things the hard way. We just do not have enough good leading lady role models telling the younger girls/women what they need to know.  Think of the life of regrets that we could save younger girls and women.  Some things cannot be undone.

Some things can affect our lives for a very long time, if not forever.

Here is my list of what I would tell my younger self.  I will probably come back from time to time and update it, but it’s a start.

  • Trust your instincts.
  • If you walk away from a relationship, and you are not really sad at all, that is a sign. Don’t second guess that.
  • Marry someone you respect.
  • Don’t decide to marry someone until you know how the two of you resolve conflict together. Is it give and take? Is it respectful?
  • Once you marry someone, whether they meet the above requirements or not, treat them like you would like your child’s spouse to treat your child. Chances are a daughter will marry someone like her father, and a son will marry someone like his mother.
  • Don’t ever let someone else talk you into marrying someone you don’t want to marry. Trust your instincts.
  • Likewise, never try to talk someone into a marriage they do not want. Let them trust their own instincts. They will be the one who has to live with it.
  • Do something creative on a regular basis.  It will make you a better person.
  • Practice daily the art of being grateful. It changes your perspective.
  • Make good friends and stay in touch with them (do life together on some level even if it is limited during various seasons but always be a constant in each other’s lives)
  • Take lots of pictures and print them.
  • Journal – write everything down, your thoughts, your dreams, everything about your experiences, being pregnant and your children growing up.

When you think about it, twenty years from now, we will be looking back at the very place we are now and thinking that we wish we could go back and give our present self advice.  Oh, the difference time, experience, and a little objectiveness can make.

I think twenty years from now, I would be telling my present self this:

Don’t waste today worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. The greatest tragedy of all is to waste today. -Simply Topaz

What would you tell your younger self?

Judging Is a Burden That You Do Not Have to Carry

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I really hate learning lessons the hard way. But we are all going to learn a few that way, probably many more than a few. The important thing is to take that lesson and to learn and grow from it and share with others to learn and grow. We are less likely to make it again, when we do the work after a lesson learned the hard way.

It can be so tempting to judge someone. We can be quick to say that someone shouldn’t have done something or that we would never do that, which is thinly disguised judgement. The truth is, that you never know until you are that person walking in those shoes down that path.

We look at a situation and only knowing a small part of the facts, or only the small amount of the overall information that one person in the situation has shared, and we come to a conclusion and judge someone. That is judgement.

The truth is, we do not know what we would do in that situation. We only think we know. And another truth is, if we knew the whole situation, we would have a greater compassion for the person, and would probably not judge. Period. It wouldn’t matter if we would have done the same thing or not.

Judging tends to come from our own issues based on our own life experiences. It can also come sometimes from (hang on, this one will be tough to hear), a need to feel superior, a need to feel like we are doing right in our lives. We need to feel that we are on a superior and higher path.

Even if you are, it’s only because you have not gone through everything that they have gone through, or maybe you went through it with a much better support system.

I judged someone once and found myself walking in her shoes one day, and you know what, I don’t judge her at all anymore. Even though I am trying to handle it a little differently, I do not in any way, shape, or form judge her now. No matter how much I think I may know, I don’t know what all she went through. Although, I do have a small insight now to what it may have looked like, but this I know – it was hard. It was very hard. Even if I were able to handle the situation perfectly, I have lost all need to judge. The situation is that hard, and I have an understanding of it now that I did not before.

The truth is, we can only say what we would do in a situation when we are actually in that situation, and even then, it is only who we are and everything in our lives that we have been through, and the support system that we have had or not had that got us to the point of making the decisions that we do. Something could happen tomorrow that might even change that.

Which brings me to my conclusion, judging is a burden that we do not want to carry. Life is full enough of the situations that we have to actually deal make. Judging is based on a hypothetical with only a very tiny portion of the facts. Give people the benefit of the doubt. At the very least, let them live their own lives. It is, after all, their life. Be the leading lady in your own life, and let them have the leading role in theirs.

I ask you, if you are hanging onto judgement of someone, to lay it down. Lay it down right now, and walk away. Just leave it and walk away. It’s a burden that I do not want my dear friends to carry.

Another thing to know is that we do not have to carry someone’s judgement on us. We do not have to own that. Let’s not carry burdens that we do not have to carry. Do what you know to be the right thing, and let others do the same for their lives. Lay down unnecessary burdens.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. -Matthew 7:1

What lessons have you learned the hard way that you can share with others?