I read What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self by Ellyn Spragins and found myself reflecting on the question: What would I tell my younger self? It is definitely an interesting read, and oh, if we could only go back and give our younger selves advice. Many of us have learned a lot of things the hard way. We just do not have enough good leading lady role models telling the younger girls/women what they need to know. Think of the life of regrets that we could save younger girls and women. Some things cannot be undone.
Some things can affect our lives for a very long time, if not forever.
Here is my list of what I would tell my younger self. I will probably come back from time to time and update it, but it’s a start.
- Trust your instincts.
- If you walk away from a relationship, and you are not really sad at all, that is a sign. Don’t second guess that.
- Marry someone you respect.
- Don’t decide to marry someone until you know how the two of you resolve conflict together. Is it give and take? Is it respectful?
- Once you marry someone, whether they meet the above requirements or not, treat them like you would like your child’s spouse to treat your child. Chances are a daughter will marry someone like her father, and a son will marry someone like his mother.
- Don’t ever let someone else talk you into marrying someone you don’t want to marry. Trust your instincts.
- Likewise, never try to talk someone into a marriage they do not want. Let them trust their own instincts. They will be the one who has to live with it.
- Do something creative on a regular basis. It will make you a better person.
- Practice daily the art of being grateful. It changes your perspective.
- Make good friends and stay in touch with them (do life together on some level even if it is limited during various seasons but always be a constant in each other’s lives)
- Take lots of pictures and print them.
- Journal – write everything down, your thoughts, your dreams, everything about your experiences, being pregnant and your children growing up.
When you think about it, twenty years from now, we will be looking back at the very place we are now and thinking that we wish we could go back and give our present self advice. Oh, the difference time, experience, and a little objectiveness can make.
I think twenty years from now, I would be telling my present self this:
Don’t waste today worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. The greatest tragedy of all is to waste today. -Simply Topaz