We all live lives that at some point will lead us down a dark path. We lose our joy and our hope. We seem unable to take our eyes off the problem and are lost in despair. I have been there and am here to say that there is light on the other side of darkness.

This is to all those who are lost and hurting.

7 Steps Out of the Darkness

• Start where you are. If it’s just remembering to just breathe and to remind yourself to take one day at a time and do not worry about down the road. Just focus on today. This moment.  I was so low a few years ago that this is where I had to start. Start where you are.
• Write. Write your thoughts. Write to God. This is healing and good for the soul. God meets us in the sacred places of our deepest thoughts.
• Create. Do something that stirs the creator in you. It could be photography, painting, art journaling, crafts, cooking or whatever you enjoy doing, but take time to create. Take nothing and make it something. It puts our soul at peace.
• Be grateful…even for little things. Each day write three different things for which you are grateful to have in your life. It could be something as small as being thankful for a warm pair of socks on a cold day, lotion to soothe dry hands, etc. No matter what is going on in our lives, there is always something good. Remember those things every day.
• Read. Read something good for the soul – the Bible, quotes, or an inspirational book. It is important to feed yourself from the good and the inspirational, a little chicken soup for the soul. 
• Laughter is good medicine. Read or watch something funny. Sometimes we forget how healing laughter can be in our lives.
• Distract yourself. Many times we are so focused on the problem that we forget that there is anything else out there. In the movie, What About Bob, he was given the advice to take a vacation from his problems.  This is actually a good idea. It can be a much needed reprieve, and sometimes just the thing to break the cycle and to remind us there is still life to be lived. Distract yourself with a great novel, a hobby, a passion, or a new adventure. Just focus on something other than where you are right now. It will help to clear your head. Many times we are stuck simply because we  have not moved forward. 

You will have good days and bad days on your journey out of the darkness. A bad day is not a setback. It is simply part of the process. Just keep taking the actions above as you continue walking out of the darkness.

Our situation may or may not change, but we will. Blooming is still possible even when our world has been turned upside down.

Have you set your new year goals? Do you have a new resolve for 2013? The new year is a time for fresh starts and when many of us refocus. We look at what worked for us and what didn’t. We take an honest look at who we are if we are the person we want to be. Growth is a process, one to embrace.

Change must also be embraced as a natural part of life. It is resisting change and not letting go that brings about much of our inner struggle. This leads me to one of the focus areas that has been on my mind…

…to be in a place where I am focused on the internal and eternal so the day to day does not determine my joy.

Eternal Focus

Life is always changing, and there is always good and bad, but to be in a place where we stay at peace in the midst of an ever changing world is the secret to a life well lived.

Years ago, my sons and I crossed path with a wonderful elderly missionary. We were instantly drawn to him. There is one thing he said to us that has come to my mind many times over the years. It was words from an old hymn.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

There is so much in life that is completely out of my control. This year I want my focus to be more on what I can control, and that is where I direct my attention, where I choose to focus. Will it be the things of this world, or will it be the things that last for eternity?

So this year, as I am creating the life I want to live, may I not forget to focus on what is truly important, inner peace and an eternal focus. Maybe it is when we can let go of this world and the stress of it all and letting go of that which we cannot control that we can truly embrace living. And that is my wish for us all this year…to embrace life….to soak up as much as possible.

So much more is in our grasp than we ever dreamed possible. We are capable of more than we think. The worst thing we can do is accept the status quo. If it’s always been that way, then that is the way it will always be…for me.

If there is something that you want, or a life you want to have, why are you just wishing for it? What if you see someone well-dressed, and think you would love to do dress well like that, but say to yourself that you don’t know how? Then learn how. What if you don’t have the money? Shop consignment stores and good will stores, or shop sales. Save money in other areas and start a clothing fund. Yes, maybe you won’t be able to go out and get an outfit every time you want, but in time you will have put together a nice wardrobe. The biggest thing is just to learn how.

What if you want a nice house? Yes, maybe that is a much bigger issue than the clothes, but until then, work with what you have, meaning make what you have nice. I have seen amazing rooms put together on a budget when you know what you are doing. Again, the biggest step comes down to learning how. A little cleaning, decluttering goes a long way. Add a coat of fresh paint to that, and you have a great foundation. Many of us are content to say, “I just don’t know how to do that.” Were you born knowing how to read or write? No. You learned how. And you can learn anything else, too. The only thing that is stopping you is you.

And let me offer you a word of caution about the naysayers. Some will say that you need to be happy with who you are, and they will proudly boast how they are. Well, for one, how do we know the way you WANT to be isn’t the real you? Maybe the person you are now isn’t the real you. Maybe right now, you are a product of negative things in your life that got you stuck. And two, these people that tell you to be happy with the way you are, like they are, are rarely as happy with themselves as they say they are. Many times it’s just bravado, and is a learned response. And who’s to say that they wouldn’t benefit from a little change themselves? Ignore them.

What if we want to grow and be a better person, letting go of the things that have held us back for far too many years? Anything is possible. The changes in my life over the last couple of years have been amazing. The things that I have written about on the Be a Leading Lady website are the things I have done or have learned, and it’s been an amazing journey, a journey that anyone can take. My life is far from perfect, but it’s what I am choosing to make out of myself and the life I am creating that makes it a life worth living, a life that makes me happy. We must live life on purpose if we want to be happy. Create the life you want to live.

It’s not the life you’re given that matters as much as what you do with it. If you took any of the people that you admire and placed them in your life, playing your part, they would begin creating a different life. Likewise, if you were placed in their life, it would begin to look just like the life you have now. It’s us that we must change if we want a different life.

What we need is not someone else’s life but a paradigm shift for our own life. And when you begin to change your thinking, you begin to see new possibilities and then start to take action to make it happen. It’s time to change our thinking and begin creating the life we want to live.

What do you want to change in your life today? What do you want to be better tomorrow, and what steps today can you start taking to make that happen?

It can be so difficult finding that wonderful and inspirational gift that is off the beaten path, that gift that you just might not think of normally when you are shopping. I know. I just went through it myself. I know that not every gift I give will be inspirational, but I do love to find a great inspirational gift when I can. I think they do more than fill up our valuable space, they give the gift of inspiration throughout the year. So I decided to share with you the gold gift nuggets that I found on my journey and will keep adding more as I go.

These are also great ideas for the difficult person to buy for!

1. Inspirational Leather Cuff – The PERFECT Handcrafted Gift Idea! Give the gift that will inspire and encourage them all year long!
2. Flameless Wax Candle – This just makes me feel good, and I don’t have to worry about forgetting to turn it off. Many flameless wax candles come with a remote and timer. How cool is that!
3. The Things That Matter by Nate Berkus – A different kind of home design book
4. Wireless Keyboard and Mouse – This is great for the person with a desktop, or a person with a laptop who works a lot on it and wants to get the keyboard and the screen placed more ergonomically. This one may not seem inspiring or comforting, but when you are a writer with carpal tunnel, or wanting to prevent wrist injury, trust me, getting your wrists and hands at the correct level while keeping your head and neck straight is a beautiful thing.
5. Comfy throw – I purchased one last year or the year before from Target, that I’m pretty sure they do not sell anymore, and I love it so much! I have never loved a throw this much in my life.Stay tuned….as I find more ideas, I will be posting them. Please feel free to post your ideas in the comments! They might even make it to the list!
6. A Special Box – I have loved special boxes since I was a little girl. It was like going treasure hunting, and to this day I am a huge fan of them. I have some the boys made for me when they were little, and some I have bought. I love them and use them all.

Also, take a peak at our recommended reading list for great book ideas.