How The Words We Speak Direct Our Life

What you say and how you say it can greatly influence your relationships; this includes friends, lovers, and co-workers. A few simple words, depending on how they’re spoken, can lift someone up or crush them. There is power in words!

How can you learn to get your point across, to be the best communicator possible, and be seen as a positive influence? Here are some things to keep in mind each time you’re having a conversation.

Learn the Art of Listening
Although you may want to talk and have the other person hear you, get into the habit of listening to the other person as well. Many times people block out what someone is saying because they’re so busy thinking about what they want to communicate. This not only leads to misunderstandings, but you’ll be seen as a person who isn’t sensitive to the needs of others and not very good at conversing. When the other person is done talking, paraphrase what they said to you so they know you heard them then offer your advice or input.

Avoid Gossiping and Criticizing
There are few people who don’t enjoy the occasional lure of gossip. The truth is though that when you participate in this type of conversation it tends to put you in a bad light. Most people tend to gossip because it makes them feel better about themselves and their lives. Successful people don’t need to gossip. They’re too busy helping others and pursuing new and exciting goals. If you’re seen as someone who constantly criticizes or gossips, the very person you’re sharing this information with is most likely wondering if you talk about him or her as well! You lose the trust and respect of others when you use words to destroy and harm rather than build others up.

Constant Complaining Leaves You Powerless
You probably know at least one person who is a chronic complainer. Whether they’re complaining about their health, their finances, their weight, their family, or life in general, these types of people are never seen as strong and independent. On the contrary, others view them as weak and perpetual victims. These are the people who never take responsibility for anything in their lives and believe they live under a cloud of bad luck or are simply surrounded by people who hold them down.

Sure, everyone has bad days and it’s good to talk to a trusted friend and get a problem or worry off your chest, but avoid chronic complaining. Instead, bounce right back and get into a mode of doing something about the situation rather than simply complaining about it. That is true power!

Keep Your Promises and Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
Never make a promise you can’t keep. Engrave this in your mind and try to stick to it. It’s easy to overextend yourself so you’ll look like the good guy, but if you truly can’t do what you’ve promised it simply makes you look irresponsible. Soon people will see you as someone who lets others down and you won’t be trusted. It’s better to say no and feel guilty for a moment than to say yes and know you can’t possibly stick to your word. When you do keep your promises your confidence will grow and others will know they can count on you.

Don’t underestimate the power of words. Always think before you speak and get into the habit of complimenting others, sticking to your commitment, and avoiding negative talk such as chronic complaining and criticizing. To others you’ll be known as someone who’s not only a delight to be around, but also a person who holds true to their morals and values. You’ll be an inspiration to others.

Written by: Debbie A. DeVita

Twitter @ImSimplyDebbie

Jump Off the High Dive!

Climbing a thousand high boards, we demolish fear, and turn into human beings.

~ Richard Bach

How can you transform your fears into power to propel you to a new life? Fear is energy. When we feel fear, we can also feel its power. Then we have a choice to make: Do we channel that energy to empower or disempower ourselves? The only successful way out of fear is to channel enough empowering energy to go through it. That’s how we “climb a thousand high boards.”

Going through a challenge can actually be easier than backing down. For example, have you ever tried going back down a high board because you were afraid to jump? It’s scarier than jumping off! You’re going backwards off an extremely high board onto the first step of the ladder that feels like it’s halfway to heaven. Swimmers coming up the steps are groaning and yelling at you because they have to retreat. Your hands and feet are so slippery from fear that you think you’re going to slide off the board into infinity.

You finally decide it’s less traumatic to go off the board, even if you kick the bucket in the process. So you jump. You don’t crack your head open on the edge of the board or the side pavement, as you had vividly imagined a zillion times. You don’t wipe out so badly that you have to wear a bathing cap over your face in humiliation the rest of the summer. Sure, you do a belly slap onto the water that rearranges all your vital organs. But you survive. And you can’t wait to go up again.

Today, spend some silent time contemplating one “high board” in your life. What are you most afraid of doing? Maybe it’s making a change in a relationship or situation that is unhealthy.

Delineate in writing the reasons you are fearful and what steps you might take to begin to improve that challenge. Always start with simply spending time in prayer asking for divine direction and courage to make the positive changes necessary for a new life. You don’t have to know all the answers, you just have to give it over to the One who does. You do your part and God will take care of the rest.

Is there someone you should talk with about your situation? Nothing can be healed that stays buried. Is there one phone call for help that you can make? What’s the first small step you can take right now up the ladder of your high dive to start to overcome your fear?

Determine how you can convert that same energy of fear into faith in the specific abilities God gave you to overcome the challenge. The next time you’re afraid, remember what writer Marilyn French discovered: “Our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if we explore them.”

When transformed into faith, they are also a treasure map to your dreams.

Transform Your Life - Take Back Your LifeWritten by Michele Poydence

~ From I Want a New Life in 30 Days  Publication: Spring 2013

Michele Poydence is an award-winning writer of television and theater, and her film, Anything’s Possible. Her humorous novel, I Want a New Life, is now available on and She resides in Oakmont, PA.

I Want a New Life on Amazon


Finding Your Own Inner Strength

It is so difficult to find a way out when we are suffering from disappointment in life; but we can find our own empowerment. In fact, finding our own empowerment or inner strength is what keeps us from giving up in life. It is what keeps us going. It is what leads us to where we are supposed to be, inevitably.

Often we continuously ask questions of ourselves. Why is this happening to me? How will I go on? How will I survive? While these are all very reasonable questions, and in the heart of our pain we will ask them, and more of ourselves. But really there is no answer. We don’t know why we must suffer in life to find happiness. We won’t ever know why some receive a lot and others just a little bit. Only after we realize this, will we be able to go on. Going on and letting go is the best present you can give to yourself.

You may sometimes feel like you are losing the battle; but when you push through the battle, you come out on the other side and feel like you’ve just won a war. Do you know why? It’s because you are empowered when you conquer life’s toughest battles. Only at these times of empowerment, do we grow into the people we are meant to be. Think about that for a minute. Think of all the struggles you’ve faced, all the tears you’ve cried in vain and realize, they got you where you are today. Who would you be right now, if it wasn’t for the struggles you have been through in your life?

For me personally, I constantly wish I didn’t have to go through the battles life has confronted me with- heartache,depression, financial difficulties, chronic illness and career change to name, but a few. But all of these things have turned me into the compassionate person I am today. It is through my pain, I found the ability to inspire others with my writing. I wouldn’t have ever begun to write, if my life hadn’t changed in the way it has. I’m not sure there is anyone that hasn’t experienced some pain that has made them grow into who they are today. In fact, would you really want to be without some pain? How would you ever know joy and happiness, if you never knew the pain?

We need to realize that our past has shaped us into who we are right now. We need to accept who we are and love who we are. Find the empowerment within yourself to just realize you are amazing, beautiful and worth love and affection, from yourself as well as from others.

Written by: Debbie A. DeVita

Twitter @ImSimplyDebbie

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