What you say and how you say it can greatly influence your relationships; this includes friends, lovers, and co-workers. A few simple words, depending on how they’re spoken, can lift someone up or crush them. There is power in words!

How can you learn to get your point across, to be the best communicator possible, and be seen as a positive influence? Here are some things to keep in mind each time you’re having a conversation.

Learn the Art of Listening
Although you may want to talk and have the other person hear you, get into the habit of listening to the other person as well. Many times people block out what someone is saying because they’re so busy thinking about what they want to communicate. This not only leads to misunderstandings, but you’ll be seen as a person who isn’t sensitive to the needs of others and not very good at conversing. When the other person is done talking, paraphrase what they said to you so they know you heard them then offer your advice or input.

Avoid Gossiping and Criticizing
There are few people who don’t enjoy the occasional lure of gossip. The truth is though that when you participate in this type of conversation it tends to put you in a bad light. Most people tend to gossip because it makes them feel better about themselves and their lives. Successful people don’t need to gossip. They’re too busy helping others and pursuing new and exciting goals. If you’re seen as someone who constantly criticizes or gossips, the very person you’re sharing this information with is most likely wondering if you talk about him or her as well! You lose the trust and respect of others when you use words to destroy and harm rather than build others up.

Constant Complaining Leaves You Powerless
You probably know at least one person who is a chronic complainer. Whether they’re complaining about their health, their finances, their weight, their family, or life in general, these types of people are never seen as strong and independent. On the contrary, others view them as weak and perpetual victims. These are the people who never take responsibility for anything in their lives and believe they live under a cloud of bad luck or are simply surrounded by people who hold them down.

Sure, everyone has bad days and it’s good to talk to a trusted friend and get a problem or worry off your chest, but avoid chronic complaining. Instead, bounce right back and get into a mode of doing something about the situation rather than simply complaining about it. That is true power!

Keep Your Promises and Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
Never make a promise you can’t keep. Engrave this in your mind and try to stick to it. It’s easy to overextend yourself so you’ll look like the good guy, but if you truly can’t do what you’ve promised it simply makes you look irresponsible. Soon people will see you as someone who lets others down and you won’t be trusted. It’s better to say no and feel guilty for a moment than to say yes and know you can’t possibly stick to your word. When you do keep your promises your confidence will grow and others will know they can count on you.

Don’t underestimate the power of words. Always think before you speak and get into the habit of complimenting others, sticking to your commitment, and avoiding negative talk such as chronic complaining and criticizing. To others you’ll be known as someone who’s not only a delight to be around, but also a person who holds true to their morals and values. You’ll be an inspiration to others.

Written by: Debbie A. DeVita

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