Author Archives: Be a Leading Lady

Pinterest: The Vision Board Exercise

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A while back I was thinking about how Pinterest is a vision board of sorts: a snapshot of who we are, who want to be, and what moves us. I looked at mine at the time, and it just seemed to be a hot mess. While it seemed to be a semi-reflection of the disarray and inner struggle that I felt at the time (and still do sometimes), this was not an accurate representation of the real person underneath it all. But where was she in all of the mess?

What I discovered while organizing my pin boards about a year later …my life may seem to be in disarray and does not always seem to be the life I dream of, but with a little culling and rearranging, there is a very beautiful life underneath it all. And I am closer to it than I realized.

This exercise showed me that I am still evolving and changing, but I am on the right path to becoming the person I was created to be. It’s exciting to see her and to know that she’s there. She’s been there all along.

And if I did this with a little time on my Pinterest board, what could I accomplish with a little culling and rearranging in my life.

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How The Words We Speak Direct Our Life

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What you say and how you say it can greatly influence your relationships; this includes friends, lovers, and co-workers. A few simple words, depending on how they’re spoken, can lift someone up or crush them. There is power in words!

How can you learn to get your point across, to be the best communicator possible, and be seen as a positive influence? Here are some things to keep in mind each time you’re having a conversation.

Learn the Art of Listening
Although you may want to talk and have the other person hear you, get into the habit of listening to the other person as well. Many times people block out what someone is saying because they’re so busy thinking about what they want to communicate. This not only leads to misunderstandings, but you’ll be seen as a person who isn’t sensitive to the needs of others and not very good at conversing. When the other person is done talking, paraphrase what they said to you so they know you heard them then offer your advice or input.

Avoid Gossiping and Criticizing
There are few people who don’t enjoy the occasional lure of gossip. The truth is though that when you participate in this type of conversation it tends to put you in a bad light. Most people tend to gossip because it makes them feel better about themselves and their lives. Successful people don’t need to gossip. They’re too busy helping others and pursuing new and exciting goals. If you’re seen as someone who constantly criticizes or gossips, the very person you’re sharing this information with is most likely wondering if you talk about him or her as well! You lose the trust and respect of others when you use words to destroy and harm rather than build others up.

Constant Complaining Leaves You Powerless
You probably know at least one person who is a chronic complainer. Whether they’re complaining about their health, their finances, their weight, their family, or life in general, these types of people are never seen as strong and independent. On the contrary, others view them as weak and perpetual victims. These are the people who never take responsibility for anything in their lives and believe they live under a cloud of bad luck or are simply surrounded by people who hold them down.

Sure, everyone has bad days and it’s good to talk to a trusted friend and get a problem or worry off your chest, but avoid chronic complaining. Instead, bounce right back and get into a mode of doing something about the situation rather than simply complaining about it. That is true power!

Keep Your Promises and Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
Never make a promise you can’t keep. Engrave this in your mind and try to stick to it. It’s easy to overextend yourself so you’ll look like the good guy, but if you truly can’t do what you’ve promised it simply makes you look irresponsible. Soon people will see you as someone who lets others down and you won’t be trusted. It’s better to say no and feel guilty for a moment than to say yes and know you can’t possibly stick to your word. When you do keep your promises your confidence will grow and others will know they can count on you.

Don’t underestimate the power of words. Always think before you speak and get into the habit of complimenting others, sticking to your commitment, and avoiding negative talk such as chronic complaining and criticizing. To others you’ll be known as someone who’s not only a delight to be around, but also a person who holds true to their morals and values. You’ll be an inspiration to others.

Written by: Debbie A. DeVita

Twitter @ImSimplyDebbie
Facebook www.fb.com/imsimplydebbie
website http://www.imsimplydebbie.com

Is there dissonance in your life?

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Have you ever hit a couple of keys on a piano that were just not meant to be played together? You know with everything inside of you, no matter how little you know about music, that this is not right. These notes do not go together.

We can also have dissonance in our lives.

“Authenticity is the alignment of head, mouth, heart, and feet – thinking, saying, feeling, and doing the same thing – consistently. This builds trust, and followers love leaders they can trust.” -Lance Secretan

I know what this feels like, but I also know what it feels like to have the dissonance of not walking authentically every single day. Sometimes days I feel like the poster child for the dazed and confused. Other days, I feel like I am walking on a cloud of harmony and joy. I think, if we are honest, that many of us can relate to that feeling of dissonance at some time or another.

It is hard to be authentic if we feel like there are four different people inside of us. It reminds me of the old game show called, “To Tell The Truth”. Will the real [person’s name] please stand up?

Do you ever find that your actions do not always align with what you want? It’s as if we find ourselves living double lives.

And then you see the people who seem to totally have it together.

We assure ourselves that they have had perfect lives and every advantage known to man. Oddly, that is not usually the case. Sometimes it is the person without any of those advantages that goes the farthest. The biggest difference between the two groups is that one knows what she wants and does it and the other is listening to three other voices in her head and feels like she is going around in circles because of it.

So today, let’s write our mission statement…what is at the heart of who we are and what we want? Run everything you think, feel, say, or do by that mission statement. Let it be your litmus test. Does it go with the other notes in your life? We will be utterly amazed when we walk into the life that we were created to have. It will feel oh so right.

“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” -Oprah Winfrey

Have a wonderful and blessed day, my friends.

~Simply Topaz

How to Live a Long and Happy Life – Secrets from a 105 Year Old Woman

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We all want to know how to live a long and happy life. I am always fascinated when I see someone in their 90s or 100s who seem so vibrant and has learned the secrets of how to live a long and happy life. THAT gets my attention. WHAT is their secret? While watching The Ellen Show today, 105 year old Edythe Kirchmaier tells all. Just that morning she was getting her driver’s license renewed. She was completely vibrant. May she celebrate many more wonderful birthdays. She is a hero to all of us showing what we can have. Her secrets to a long and happy life are simple.

How to Live a Long and Happy Life – Secrets from a 105 Year Old Woman

  • Be happy.
  • Think positive.
  • Don’t worry. If you can’t do anything about it, don’t let it bother you.

Thank you, Edythe Kirchmaier, for sharing your secrets with us. You are a true inspiration. I also would like to add one more thing about Edythe Kirchmaier and that is that she is a giver. She has volunteered for years with Direct Relief.

I know some of us may read that list and think, “Oh, if it were only that simple.” Sometimes it sure seems that some people are born with the happy gene while others of us are born with the worry gene. Some of it may be learned behaviors. Some of it may be the fact that we never learned healthy attitudes. So for those of us who may struggle with these attitudes, let’s list some simple steps that we can take each day to help us more easily adopt this new attitudes.

Be a Leading Lady Action Steps for a Long and Happy Life

  • Laugh more.
  • Watch funny movies and shows.
  • Read funny books.
  • Spend time with people who are funny and full of joy.
  • Say no to negative thoughts. Become conscious of them. Stop them. And replace them with a positive thought.
  • Realize that worrying never added a single day to anyone’s life. If you cannot do anything about it, you must let it go. When it comes to mind. Stop, drop, and replace. Do not let what is worrying you become your focus. Not only will it not add years to your life, but can take years from your life.

The more we take these simple action steps, the happier we will be, and the easier it will be. Start where you are do something every day that makes you happier. Write a few simple things down on a yellow sticky and keep it where you will see it daily, or even better several times a day or all day. It is easy to fall into old habits if we do not do something to remind ourselves of the new behavior or new attitude that we want to embrace. Make happiness your new habit.

How to Live a Long and Happy Life

What are your secrets to living a long and happy life? Is there anything you would add to her list?

I Love Pope Francis I And I Am Not Even Catholic

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I must admit that I did not get it all at first. Every time a television show was interrupted to watch for smoke I did not get it and was a little annoyed. But that quickly changed as began to let my annoyance fade to curiosity and from curiosity to love.

As I sat watching, I began to realize the importance of what was about to happen to all of the people there waiting and watching, not to mention the people that were probably watching from their homes. This was a monumental moment for Catholics. It is the person that they would be looking to for guidance and direction, a person they revere.

As the smoke billowed out and the bells rang, the people cheered.

It took about two minutes to fall in love with the humbleness and sincerity of this man. I have never seen or felt such warmth and sincerity from a Pope. He immediately won the hearts of Catholics and even many non-Catholics.

Because he felt real. He felt like one of us. And he find kind and sincere. What wonderful qualities for a Pope to have, or for any leader or person to have. He spoke to the hearts of the people.

As a woman on the journey to find and grow the leading lady in myself, I am always watching the people and leaders that move me. There is something to learn from everyone, and I cannot wait to see and hear more from Pope Francis I. He is going to be one to watch. I hope that he is all that he seems to be and that he does good things.

And for now, I leave you with this…
live-from-your-heart
Live your life from your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people’s souls. -Melody Beattie

What was your initial reaction to Pope Francis I?