Author Archives: Be a Leading Lady

Playing Small Does Not Serve the World

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Dear Friend,

Ever notice how we struggle with accepting compliments or even thinking good things about ourselves, like we are almost being conceited?

Yet, we’re supposed to be confident.

It is okay to think good things about yourself. It’s the beginning of thinking good about others. If we don’t think well of ourselves and like ourselves, it’s almost impossible to really like others. We are in too small of a place to like others.

Leading ladies like themselves. They like who they are. And they like others.

If you were to sit down right now and think of yourself at your best, on your best day, when you are happiest, when you are truly letting yourself shine through, what do you see? What do you love about yourself?

Whatever is coming to your mind that you feel in your heart, write that down. Now.

In order to love others, we must first love ourselves or we have nothing to give the world.

It’s okay to love yourself. It really is.

These are the things I love about myself. It’s truly okay to say that, even out loud. It will even give others permission to love themselves, too.

I am thankful for who I am, all the good that I am.
I am smart.
I am creative.
I am inspired.
I am inspirational.
I am soulful.
I am kind.
I am lovely.

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking. – Marianne Williamson

What do you love about yourself? I won’t judge you or think you are conceited, just let it flow from year heart. That is the real you.

Dear Friend

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Dear Friend,

I’ve decided to start all of my posts with the greeting, “Dear Friend”. I got the idea when writing a very special and dear friend and found that I wrote more from my heart, and that is what I want to do with you, my new dear friends. While we may have never met, I do hope that we become friends in this journey together.


It reminds me of a quote from the movie, You’ve Got Mail:

“I like to start my notes to you as if we’re already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we’re the oldest and dearest friends- as opposed to what we actually are- people who don’t know each other’s names and met in a chat room where we both claimed we’d never been before. What will NY152 say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You’ve got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you.”

I’ve given this a lot of thought as I begin writing my book. And I want it to feel like we have sat down in a coffee shop, in big comfy chairs, with a cup of our favorite coffees and are having a conversation as old and dear friends. Because whatever else it is, it ought to begin with personal.

Another quote from the movie, “You’ve Got Mail”:

JOE: It wasn’t personal —

KATHLEEN: — It was business. What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All it means is it’s not personal to you, but it’s personal to me, it’s personal to a lot of people. (she shrugs helplessly) What’s wrong with personal anyway?

JOE: Nothing.

KATHLEEN: I mean, whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.

Because whatever else it is, it ought to begin with personal. Until next time, dear friend.

~Topaz

Be Careful What You Tell People

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Leading ladies do not tell everything they know or think to others. And we are always careful who we truly trust, especially with anything that could come back to haunt us.

Be careful what you tell people.
The friend today could be your enemy tomorrow.
-Be a Leading Lady | bealeadinglady.com

The Power of Your Example as a Leading Lady

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We are setting examples for those around us every day. This is especially true for those who have children, even grown children. That is a powerful concept. Do you want your children struggling through life even as adults because they watched you lead a bad example? What kind of behavior do you want to see in them? That is what you should be modeling, how you want them to act. It is also true for the people we interact with on a daily basis, our friends or coworkers. We do not want to get so caught up in expressing ourselves that we forget we are teaching others how to act. It’s all too easy to get caught up in a moment. When you are upset or venting about something, stop and look around at who is watching you. What if it is your child watching you? Is that how you want them to let a situation get to them, or do you want to teach them to rise above it in a healthy manner? We teach them every second of every day. Leading ladies set good examples. You could be that person, the one who raises everyone around you up to a higher level just by realizing the power you hold with your actions and words.

People are watching you no matter which example you choose to lead. It’s up to you to decide the type of leading lady you want to be.

Forgiveness: Giving Up Hope That the Past Could Have Been Different

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Do you have a relationship breakup that you just cannot get over? Maybe even after years? Relationship breakups can be the hardest to get over, the hardest to forgive and move on with our lives. Sometimes relationships just don’t work out. More than likely, these relationships were never meant to be, no matter how much we thought they were destined for happily ever after and want to hang onto the thought that it could have been different. It wasn’t. It is what it is, and we cannot change the past. It is actually hanging onto the hope that the past could have been different that creates unforgiveness in our hearts. We stay hurt and become the walking wounded.


“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different.”
– Oprah

It’s a painful concept to wrap our minds around, giving up hope, but it’s true. Not wanting to give up the hope that it could’ve been different is sometimes where we can so easily get stuck. It’s hard to let go of what could have been or what we wanted it to be, the hope it could have been different. The great thing about when we do let go is that we are opening ourselves up for all that is good and right for us. By holding on to something that was never meant to be, we sometimes miss what is actually meant to be because we’re not ready for it.

Leading ladies realize there is a world out there just waiting for them. There is not one thing that will ever benefit us by holding on to something that will never be. We embrace the life that is waiting for us. And that is where we have to focus, on an amazing future that is waiting for us. We will never have it if we don’t let go of what could have been and forgive. We have an amazing life waiting for us!

Each time you find yourself mourning what could have been with a relationship that is over, exchange those thoughts for what could be, what is right for you and waiting for you to be ready to receive it. Sometimes, we eventually let go, and are ready to move away from the past. We are done. Other times, this is something we must practice daily. The more we believe there is something better for us, the easier it will become, and the more you will attract good things into your life.

I ran across this quote a couple of years ago and realized the areas in my life where I struggled was because I had wanted things to be different. It is when we let go of that desire, that the anger leaves and forgiveness enters. Because ultimately things weren’t different. This is how they are. I know of a beautiful person going through a divorce who brought this to my mind tonight as she made a comment about this quote. She is going to be okay. This is a powerful concept that she is grasping early in the process. To everyone out there going through a divorce or breakup, it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be better than okay. If you focus on yourself and being the leading lady that you want to be, you will realize he didn’t really fit in your life anyway.

A very wise person once told me, “You don’t miss him. You miss what he could have been.”

There is a wonderful and inspiring writer, ImSimplyDebbie, who wrote a beautiful blog about letting go and listening to your heart. It is a must read: Listen to your Heart. Not only can we let go of relationships that didn’t work for us but also habits and attitudes that aren’t working for us. When we start to chip away and remove the things that don’t belong or work for us, we start to see who we really are. When we remove the bad, we make room for all that’s been waiting for us. When asked how Michelangelo made such marvelous sculptures he said that he just chipped away what did not belong. We are like that sculpture, just waiting for what doesn’t belong to be chipped away and removed, so that the masterpiece is revealed.