I really hate learning lessons the hard way. But we are all going to learn a few that way, probably many more than a few. The important thing is to take that lesson and to learn and grow from it and share with others to learn and grow. We are less likely to make it again, when we do the work after a lesson learned the hard way.

It can be so tempting to judge someone. We can be quick to say that someone shouldn’t have done something or that we would never do that, which is thinly disguised judgement. The truth is, that you never know until you are that person walking in those shoes down that path.

We look at a situation and only knowing a small part of the facts, or only the small amount of the overall information that one person in the situation has shared, and we come to a conclusion and judge someone. That is judgement.

The truth is, we do not know what we would do in that situation. We only think we know. And another truth is, if we knew the whole situation, we would have a greater compassion for the person, and would probably not judge. Period. It wouldn’t matter if we would have done the same thing or not.

Judging tends to come from our own issues based on our own life experiences. It can also come sometimes from (hang on, this one will be tough to hear), a need to feel superior, a need to feel like we are doing right in our lives. We need to feel that we are on a superior and higher path.

Even if you are, it’s only because you have not gone through everything that they have gone through, or maybe you went through it with a much better support system.

I judged someone once and found myself walking in her shoes one day, and you know what, I don’t judge her at all anymore. Even though I am trying to handle it a little differently, I do not in any way, shape, or form judge her now. No matter how much I think I may know, I don’t know what all she went through. Although, I do have a small insight now to what it may have looked like, but this I know – it was hard. It was very hard. Even if I were able to handle the situation perfectly, I have lost all need to judge. The situation is that hard, and I have an understanding of it now that I did not before.

The truth is, we can only say what we would do in a situation when we are actually in that situation, and even then, it is only who we are and everything in our lives that we have been through, and the support system that we have had or not had that got us to the point of making the decisions that we do. Something could happen tomorrow that might even change that.

Which brings me to my conclusion, judging is a burden that we do not want to carry. Life is full enough of the situations that we have to actually deal make. Judging is based on a hypothetical with only a very tiny portion of the facts. Give people the benefit of the doubt. At the very least, let them live their own lives. It is, after all, their life. Be the leading lady in your own life, and let them have the leading role in theirs.

I ask you, if you are hanging onto judgement of someone, to lay it down. Lay it down right now, and walk away. Just leave it and walk away. It’s a burden that I do not want my dear friends to carry.

Another thing to know is that we do not have to carry someone’s judgement on us. We do not have to own that. Let’s not carry burdens that we do not have to carry. Do what you know to be the right thing, and let others do the same for their lives. Lay down unnecessary burdens.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. -Matthew 7:1

What lessons have you learned the hard way that you can share with others?