Forgiveness: Giving Up Hope That the Past Could Have Been Different

Do you have a relationship breakup that you just cannot get over? Maybe even after years? Relationship breakups can be the hardest to get over, the hardest to forgive and move on with our lives. Sometimes relationships just don’t work out. More than likely, these relationships were never meant to be, no matter how much we thought they were destined for happily ever after and want to hang onto the thought that it could have been different. It wasn’t. It is what it is, and we cannot change the past. It is actually hanging onto the hope that the past could have been different that creates unforgiveness in our hearts. We stay hurt and become the walking wounded.


“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different.”
- Oprah

It’s a painful concept to wrap our minds around, giving up hope, but it’s true. Not wanting to give up the hope that it could’ve been different is sometimes where we can so easily get stuck. It’s hard to let go of what could have been or what we wanted it to be, the hope it could have been different. The great thing about when we do let go is that we are opening ourselves up for all that is good and right for us. By holding on to something that was never meant to be, we sometimes miss what is actually meant to be because we’re not ready for it.

Leading ladies realize there is a world out there just waiting for them. There is not one thing that will ever benefit us by holding on to something that will never be. We embrace the life that is waiting for us. And that is where we have to focus, on an amazing future that is waiting for us. We will never have it if we don’t let go of what could have been and forgive. We have an amazing life waiting for us!

Each time you find yourself mourning what could have been with a relationship that is over, exchange those thoughts for what could be, what is right for you and waiting for you to be ready to receive it. Sometimes, we eventually let go, and are ready to move away from the past. We are done. Other times, this is something we must practice daily. The more we believe there is something better for us, the easier it will become, and the more you will attract good things into your life.

I ran across this quote a couple of years ago and realized the areas in my life where I struggled was because I had wanted things to be different. It is when we let go of that desire, that the anger leaves and forgiveness enters. Because ultimately things weren’t different. This is how they are. I know of a beautiful person going through a divorce who brought this to my mind tonight as she made a comment about this quote. She is going to be okay. This is a powerful concept that she is grasping early in the process. To everyone out there going through a divorce or breakup, it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be better than okay. If you focus on yourself and being the leading lady that you want to be, you will realize he didn’t really fit in your life anyway.

A very wise person once told me, “You don’t miss him. You miss what he could have been.”

There is a wonderful and inspiring writer, ImSimplyDebbie, who wrote a beautiful blog about letting go and listening to your heart. It is a must read: Listen to your Heart. Not only can we let go of relationships that didn’t work for us but also habits and attitudes that aren’t working for us. When we start to chip away and remove the things that don’t belong or work for us, we start to see who we really are. When we remove the bad, we make room for all that’s been waiting for us. When asked how Michelangelo made such marvelous sculptures he said that he just chipped away what did not belong. We are like that sculpture, just waiting for what doesn’t belong to be chipped away and removed, so that the masterpiece is revealed.

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